This brings us to us. Remember that the Yin (flowing, curvy, feminine, organic) and the Yang (strong, linear, masculine, structured) are both in conflict and in harmony with each other.

We have that inside us: the whole left brain vs. right brain thing. But we also have that contrast in the human male vs. the human female.

Our scripture tells us that God took a “part” of man and formed woman. God took a part of the whole and made it two incomplete pieces. He separated the Yin from the Yang. (Again, please remove the whole Eastern meditation/religion from those words) He made us perfect and then decided that something wasn’t good. He said that all his creation was good but there was no “helper” or “match” found for mankind. So he did something about it.

We now live in a society where the Yin and Yang are separated parts of us. So God came up with a solution to the Yang without Yin: marriage. Yang said to Yin: “You are now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh …” and God said for this reason Yang must “leave his father and mother and is united to his [Yin] and they become ONE FLESH.”

This may seem like a crazy, roundabout way to get at the issue of gay marriage but here we are. It is right and good and FITS for a man and a woman to be united in “One Flesh”-ness. Now what do we call this “One Flesh”-ness? To marry or to wed are Old English words for a pledge that is made to another. So maybe the whole political battle is simply one of definitions.

Friends make pledges. Brothers make pledges. College fraternities make pledges. But somehow I don’t think the pro-gay-marriage people would be happy with simply making pledges to each other. They can do that all day and all night. There is something to this “One Flesh” –ness that they would be missing. What they don’t realize is that it will never be found with a Yin and Yin relationship or a Yang and Yang relationship. It just doesn’t happen in nature and it doesn’t happen in humans. Yet they will try and the belief is that if it is “officially” sanctioned by some government or religion THEN they will have a “One Flesh”-ness. No matter how many churches or how many governments “allow” same sex marriage there will still be something missing that a Yin and Yang can have together.

Don’t get me wrong. Yin and Yang also fight a lot; they are in conflict and harmony at the same time. that is the beauty of the “One Flesh” relationship and the challenge of it. But nothing good comes easy.

So we took you from architecture through nature and ended up at marriage. Quite a journey! But remember that our God made us a natural YIN/YANG beings and that truth extends through good marriages to good architecture to good art to all of God’s good creation.

Pick up a pencil and a piece of paper. Without caring what it looks like, close your eyes and draw what ivy feels like. Draw all over the paper.

Now open your eyes and look at what you have drawn. If you are half-way normal you will have doodled all sorts of lazy loops back and forth and all around and there is probably not one sharp angle in the entire composition. Ivy feels flowing, growing, loopy, curvy, living and green. Ivy feels “feminine”.

Now turn the paper over and doodle again, eyes closed. This time draw what a mountain feels like. Draw a pyramid or draw a house or draw the structures that hold up a bridge.

Assuming the other half of you is normal, you probably drew bigger, bolder, stronger movements made of straight lines, angles, and sharp corners. These shapes feel dark and “masculine”.

Most everything in life is a balance of (or conflict between) Yin (flowing, curvy, feminine, organic) and Yang (strong, linear, masculine, structured). Good design introduces aspects of both. GREAT design balances the female and male. The interplay of things female and male, things growing and things structured is the music of art. And art is the music of architecture. Architecture that exposes too much Yang is stiff and overbearing. Government buildings and Gothic Cathedrals are almost all Yang. The cathedrals are great architecture because they draw your attention to prove that the church is in charge, it is structured, YOU are subservient, and God is GREAT!

But fun happens when Yang is trumped by Yin, when Yang’s angular rhythmic battle against gravity is pulled over and bent, humbled yet proudly resisting, strong but yielding, untimately embraced but in good humor.

Look at this Salvidor Dali painting. How much fun did he have messing with your Yin and Yang?

Leaving out the whole Eastern religious part of Yin and Yang, I think the Chinese were latched onto a biblical principle that they found in nature. Because nature is full of the Yin and Yang contrast.

I sat cross-legged with Lego’s spread in front of me busily building my hanger. I reduced the production of my fighter planes to a simple 5 Lego construction, giving me over 100 fighters for my upcoming war. I need the hangar to hide my secret weapon; my stealth bomber. (Remember, this was in the late 60’s and early 70’s when stealth technology was still at the Skunk Works) My stealth bomber was made with bricks of many colors; I purposefully built it with alternating colors, believing that it would blend in like camouflage against the backdrop of my Indiana living room. The war happened with dozens of my fighters exploding mid-air and the 5 Lego bricks falling to the earth in 5 separate landings. My stealth bomber performed excellently as it completely decimated the enemy with mission after mission. The war took me hours to build, both sides of course, with enemy planes and friendlies, hangers and houses, gun batteries and tanks; but it took less than 5 minutes to destroy. As I looked upon the rubble of my successful morning I found my mom looking at me with a weird expression. “What?” I asked. “You spent all that time building everything and then you just waste it all. What are you thinking?” My normal response to my mother’s incomprehensible questions was a flippant “I don’t know” but this time I paused, maybe just a little older now, and said “I have been fighting this battle all morning in my head; this was just the part you saw.”

Now as a grandfather I get on the floor with my grandson and watch him slowly move a Matchbox car back and forth, watching the wheels turn and making the “vroom, vroom” sounds. Sometimes he lays flat on the floor with his head turned to his right hand as he moves his car back and forth, he will just watch those wheel rims, mesmerized by the movement and I wonder “What are you thinking?”

Anybody who had moved from one house to another, especially from a larger to a smaller house knows one of the physical laws of the universe: you can’t cram 10 pounds of (whatever) into a 5 pound sack. As much as magicians try to trick us into thinking differently, Physics tells us that things are not bigger on the inside than they are on the outside. Nothing can defy the physical laws of the universe except …

Maybe I am bending my definitions a little but I believe the human mind was created to be bigger on the inside than on the outside. If it wasn’t my mom would know what was going through my head in fighting my imaginary wars and I would understand what is going through my grandson’s head as he stares at the wheels of his Matchbox. The mind is larger on the inside than it is on the outside. Computers might someday catch up with the computing power of the human mind but they will never catch up with the creative ability that mind is packed full of.

Human Brain was created at about 3 pounds packed with 100 pounds of knowledge (10% of capacity); another 1000 pounds of stored memories; hundreds of thousands of pounds of creative ability, and an infinite supply of potential. It is so much more than what you see. Don’t waste it.

I am sorry if that offends you, but I do. Unless I know the number and I know the time involved in the call will not exceed the time I have available; I ignore your phone calls.

When I was a kid and going to summer camp, a letter was as precious as gold (or candy, whatever). If you got five letters in a week, you were RICH! Most of the time, we stood by the mailroom,, plaintively waiting to see if there was some sort of message from the outside world. Usually we walked away disappointed.

When I was young, missing a TV show was out of the question. I we didn’t see this episode of Batman or Carol Burnett or Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom; you simply lost it forever. It was like you would NEVER get this chance again so we would, in some cases, arrange meals around news for my dad and shows for us kids.

Newspapers and magazines were read from cover to cover. TV News was the staple you lived your life around. Letters were precious gold nuggets because of the rare data they would give on friends and family. Pictures were sent or shared only rarely and hoarded.

We came to treat incoming data of any kind as precious. A lost letter was a calamity. Reading everything was essential. What if I miss something?

A new generation, one that grew up with a data surplus, is coming to their own. To this person it is no big deal to miss a tweet or ten, to delete a blog or not return a text or even a voice mail. The new standard for vacation email is, “When I get back I am going to delete all the email in my box, of it is important please resend it next week.”

This is what happens when something goes from scarce to surplus. First we bathe in it, then we waste it, overuse it, abuse it, package it, and attempt to cram it down the throat.

Many homes FOUGHT over answering the phone, hungry for some kind of data from the outside world. Now, we put guards on our incoming data to screen, filter, and sort the interesting from the mundane, the wanted from the unwanted, the sales call from the gossip from the family emergency. I gave my daughter my old cell phone for emergency calls when she first began driving on her own at 16. Now-a-days she has to carry two, one for work and one for personal. Peace at home is turning off the cells phones. Too much data.

It is not all bad though, don’t get me wrong. If it was all bad it never would have happened. I am, right now, staring at my computer screen which is constantly streaming live data to me from Facebook, to Skype, to Breaking News, to the latest price of silver. I play the music I want to play, I watch the shows I want to watch, and I get the data I want to get.

So what am I saying with this diatribe? I guess all I am saying is that I will often ignore your phone calls …

Qi or Chi is defined as a Chinese concept of the life energy, life force or the FLOW of energy.

I have to have my lectern centered and aimed at the middle of the crowd to keep my qi. I don’t mind people sleeping during my message but if you get up and move to the other side you are messing with my qi.

I have to have my office set up in just such a way, with my office implements all in their place, and my computer at tip top shape to keep my qi flowing.

I have to have my lounge chair set with my phone, Kindle, Coke Zero, and pillow so that I can relax.

I have to have my pool just right and my body positioned just right on the floating mattress to rest.

I have to … you get the idea. Some might call it simple OCD but I prefer to think if it as releasing my qi.

I thought of this as I was triking with my wife this morning. All of us, I dare say, have ridden a bicycle at one time or another and have encountered hills on that ride. What do you do when you see a hill coming at you? Do you speed up to let your momentum carry you further up the hill or do you down shift as you are climbing or do you simply get off and walk it? I am a speed up and get my momentum going kind of guy. While Frankie and I were triking the other morning we both prepared ourselves for the hill in our own way but I increased in speed and was going at a pretty good clip, good enough to carry me to the top of the hill, when we encountered a man walking his little dogs on the trail.

Now they have a perfect right to be on the trail but the dogs were whipping about from one side to the next to the point where we both had to STOP, half way up the hill, in order to not hit the little pooches. Now that was a DEFINITE qi moment. ALL of our energy flow was gone and it took tremendous effort to get the rest of the way up that hill starting from a stop. THAT is what it feels like when someone messes with my qi. All of the energy flow just stops and I have to adjust and work like crazy to get it going again.

Have you found your qi? Have you found that place in your situation where the energy just flows or do you have too many distractions and issues that get in the way of your qi? Find your qi; find that sweet spot where you can get done what needs to get done, where the energy within you just flows! Find it and you will be amazed at what a difference it will make in your life.

Most partnerships don’t end up in court.

Most friendships don’t end up in a fight.

Most customers don’t leave in a huff.

Most church goers don’t walk because of theological differences.

Most people don’t dramatically shove each other; they just fade away.

What usually happens is one party will feel underappreciated or perhaps taken advantage of, and they simply stop showing up as often. They stop investing their time. They simply begin to move on.

“No, I’m not going to sue you; I’m just going to slip away.”

“No, I think I’ll just stay home tonight.”

“Yes, well I think I’ll just put my best efforts somewhere else.”

Just because there are no firestorms on the porch doesn’t mean you’re doing okay. More likely, there are relationships out there that need more investment. Those quiet customers who are unhappy. Those friendships that seem neglected. Those church goers who have lost their passion. The just don’t make a big deal about it.

The problem is: THOSE are they people you want to keep around! The fiery ones are hot then cold then hot again but those steady, non-complaining, quiet ones are the bread and butter of ANY relationship. THOSE are the people you want as your customers. THOSE are the people you want as your friend. THOSE are the people you want in your church.

Take a minute RIGHT NOW and think about those people in your life that you want to keep around. Take your time, I’ll wait …

Now, what can you do RIGHT NOW that will “touch” that person? Send an email? Send a REAL letter? Make a phone call? Send a text? Visit their business? Invite them to lunch? DO IT NOW!

The only way to hang onto those valuable friends, customers, and church family is to reach out and touch them. You must inconvenience yourself. If you don’t; they won’t fight you for your attention, they won’t leave in an angry firestorm, they will simply fade away.

“I had no choice; I just couldn’t get out of bed.”

“I had no choice; it was the best program I could get into.”

“I had no choice; he/she told me to do it.”

“I had no choice; it just turned out that way.”

“I had no choice; I was just born that way.”

“I had no choice; it was the best job I could get.”

Really? I mean: REALLY?

Is this what you really mean or is this just the expedient/convenient/hassle free answer?

It is probably more accurate to say:

“The short term hassle of this outweighed the long term benefit.”

“The low satisfaction with what I’m doing is easier than the hard work of getting to something better.”

“This is less risky.”

“I would rather just let things happen then going through the pain and disappointment that comes from planning things.”

As we enter into a new year I have a simple request for you; a simple resolution for you. Simple but not easy. Here it is: Do something remarkable this year.

Remarkable work or action often comes from making choices when everyone else feels as though there is no choice. Difficult choices involve painful sacrifice, advance planning or just plain GUTS.

Saying you have no choice cuts off all options, absolves you of responsibility and is, in fact, a DREAM KILLER!

Simple but not easy.

BE REMARKABLE THIS YEAR!